aw HELLLLLLL naw - no she didn't!

since last month, i've had thoughts about moving to new orleans after graduation.

and i just might do that.

i miss that place so damn much. why i do? was it because i came at the right time or something?

i would stay in raleigh, take my displaced self back to NY, or go somewhere like houston, san fran, or chi-town (only cus of graduate school programs - something of which i have slight interest in right now).

BUT I NEED TO BE BACK IN NEW ORLEANS. like now.

that is all.

peas. ^^

after spending 5 days in new orleans,

i want to go back more than ever.

i'm disappointed that i wasn't able to experience the FULL aspect of new orleanian culture before katrina hit. bad reports on the city and all, there's something that's drawing me back to NOLA.

i'm desperately trying to go back for january of 2010. thinking about being away from the NO is literally moving me to the point where i'm teary-eyed. i don't think i've ever had so much fun, so much to look forward to during that spring break. i'm not regretful of gaining 5 pounds eating kick ass food (lol). i've never felt so moved looking at an area such as 9th ward and wanting to help restore the area (not completely knocking that over). i haven't listened to as much bounce music til now (ha!). i was mad as hell that i had to come back to raleigh for school. yeah, so i know the n.o. won't be the same since katrina hit. with every storm comes a new perspective on the life.

either way, someone just bring me back to new orleans.

i'm serious.

peas. ^^

how do you deal with something if a person you like ...






lives over 1,000 miles away from you?

i'd doubt if i get a good response to this. but if i do, expect cookies for free.99. (recession special! lawlz)

peas ^^

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

that song's so cool btw.

to date, i've only been to a few places this summer:
atlanta
myrtle beach
augusta
virginia beach
charlotte
... and raleigh, yes, raleigh

and these are the places i wanna go to before summer ends and i move into the new apartment (yay!):
toronto
los angeles
oakland (for, um, "personal" reasons)
... hell all of california
arizona (grand canyon)
chicago
all over really
vegas

i wanna travel everywhere. so much so that i want it to be part of my future job to just go everywhere while it depends on my salary. and then, afterwards, i wanna expose what i learned to others.

... so the question is: why am i stuck in bumfuck world? car's working fine. ok, so i'm not a millionaire. i still pay the irs something as an "american." i don't like the fact of going places by myself, but it just might happen if i wanna go places. that and hopefully find the place that i'm more than likely gonna find my job, etc. pop off. we'll see.

but, on that note, me and someone i know looked up into heading over to memphis, or just taking a random ass road trip all over tennessee. another was taking a trip to cali.

i'm one ambitious mf'er right now. i guess. yet and still, life is good

being cultured FTW!

peas.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

i'm 21 biatch!

that is all.

peas. ^_^

summer is already treating nicely
i'm married to a sinus infection, aka my part time hubby
my body's aches, sores, can't take sittin in bed
hate taking all these medications from allegra d to sudafed
my head's like round and round we go like jonell
now i know where i wanna be like donell
and that's in good health - i mean regular, good, better tha average
but how much would it take to make a goal worth the engage?
this is worse than fmylife
nah, this is real life - can't live this again twice.


(ok, so boredom and sickness got me on a writing kick. that's the awesome part that came out of this). :)

...

(however, i wanna go on my road trips NOWWWWWWW!)

peas ^_^

release all doubts and all fears
you've had for so many years.
20 years is up chick - you've been stallin for too long.
cats are fallin on you hard.
you talk. you think. you imagine. good good.
but the real thing is "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"
rely on people, but you never rely on you.
what's up with that picture?
don't even have enough faith in yourself. not even your own scripture ... [s].
i feel that fire burning up inside.
yet you wanna keep it in there because "you don't want to hurt nobody's hide."
too many years, you kept messing around with the same thing.
even though you claim you're idiosyncratic, the most artistic thang to hit the block, or better yet independent.
[place name here] wasn't you middle name.
must've been shy, weak,
well guess what? fuck em.
that's right. i said it. fuck em.
fuck them, fuck them, oh yeah, fuck THEM
them can only say what they interpret
yet they don't know the talent that you have is all worth it.
the wise guy upstairs brought you here for a reason
to share your talents
don't let the past break you.
never let your struggles take you.
YOU MAKE THE MOST OF IT - past struggles just want to hate on you.
you see it's like a mirror: may look all nice and neat.
yet deep down, your reflection is the image you shouldn't keep.
break that shit. break down your barriers. break down what is horrifying your mind.
get your confidence weight up. let them know that with the love you have for self, everything is just fine.
inner demons, judgement, shyness, pessimism, self-hate, guilt, depression - in your eyes, they'll all just be thoughts to the blind. something you'll never ever no longer have to keep confined.

tell that it's your time. let em catch up.
you got the power - don't give it up.
;)

sincerely, kals.


i'm able through god.
i've lived this long without knowing the real me. what i'm capable of.
i don't hate the trouble that i'm going through anymore. i love it. now i know that my biggest obstacles are now my biggest learning experiences.
this is like the best entry i've made. it's not even to sound conceited, cocky, or arrogant. however, it is because i've been silent for so long. when fears hold you back, you're a mute to your true self and capabilites.

not anymore.

i'm done talking.
i'm doing here on out...
respect the upcoming hustle.
first stop: vibe mag!!! they can only tell me no. either way, i'm STILL applying again.

FUCK YEAH!

peas. ^_^

p.s. this was entirely a freestyle. no seriously. this was.

yesterday, i think i must've felt the best i've ever felt in ... well, a while.

inauguration.
snowfall.
being involved in the best snowball fight in all of snowball fights.
meeting more people.
having more faith in myself.

damn why couldn't i have more days like that?!

peas.
^_^

so it's election day.

and i feel a little better than yesterday.

however, all this shit about change. vote obama. vote mccain. get out there and vote. i was highly temped NOT to vote until recently, based on my skepticism.

i voted once and i didn't vote for either candidate. however, i already know it's going to be between mcbama. i'm not going to be like several brainwashed individuals and vote for someone just because he makes a good speech or did a few battles.

but in the case that either president gets elected, either way, i'm not relying solely on a politician for change. change doesn't just come from one person. we ALL have to promote change. although i have my respects for him, i'm tired of these people thinking he's jesus. the dude hasn't even served in office yet. and some of his plans has left me thinking "wtf?"

and i fail to realize sometimes that congress and the house of representatives DEFINITELY need a shake-up too. hell we need a shake-up EVERYWHERE in fuckin' america right now.

i don't think barack or john are true heroes nor are they the neo version of the anti-christ, btw.

i can only hope for the best or the worst.


they should've put sushi and chai tea on the ballot. i would've voted for that instantly.

SUSHI/CHAI '08!!!!!
[j/k]



peas.

p.s. i'm giving up on drinking.























[until my 21st birthday]

sometimes it's good to look back on the past. of course i'm referring to the past entries i posted ...

because i just realized that i curse way too much. both on and away from livejournal.

f--ckin wowsers! lol.


peas.

can anything ever be drama-free, nowadays?
can i ever escape drama?
is it worth living in a drama-filled atmosphere these days?

those are three questions i'd like to have a [positive] answer to.


peas.

i meant to write something completely different, but this is crazy.

first bernie mac passes away. now ISSAC HAYES!?
i know death is just a part of the cycle, but DAMN.

rest in peace fellas. you'll both be missed.

i don't have many addictions.
but zuma is so addictive right now.

that and tetris.
this is the worst way to waste time in philosophy class.
lol.

peas.

and another thing...
don't go to MOCdonalds.
:p

i'll be 20 years old come 2:14 AM on June 2nd, 2008.

who would've thought that?

time goes by fast.
so does life.

but who's counting the minutes or seconds?

p.s. if someone gets me a Guitar Hero set or a Wii for my birthday ... or even gas money, I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever ... oh yeah, and EVER.

peas!
shotouts to the geminis out there. :p

to all the people who have invited somebody [or even moi] to a "i have a new phone #; _____ needs your numbers quick" or some title to that effect...
































there's a thing called a phone/address book and paper.
it works. try it. saves annoying moments. ;)
and that's another one of my two cents taken.

peas.

now, maybe it's crazy that a frequent volcano eruption, a tsunami off of the coast of Africa, a huge cyclone hits myanmar, and tornado outbreaks occur in the midwest/south ... and laundry detergent's getting smaller because of energy ... and gas is too high ...

seems ironic that these events are going on, buuuuuuut...

but am i the only one who thinks that the world is NOT going to end in 4 years like the mayans predicted?
or that it's not just "global warming" that's causing these crazy commotions in the atmosphere?
or an ice age is coming up?
or that the united states has resources for gas ... plenty of it at that ... but we refuse to use it?

still though. mother nature's trippin. maybe it's on its period.
so are half the douchebags in office. oh well.


[p.s. to any of you people with the "don't be trashy, recycle" shirts, ya'll muthafuckas better live by your word and recycle ... dangit. that's just my 2 cents.]


[edit: i know i had tornado outbreaks in charlotte, but that's not the case ... but what if it did happen there?! O_o]

[p.p.s. sidenote -- bitchassness is a disease ... so is p.diddy]

so my first final exam of the spring semester begins tomorrow @ 8:00 am.

i'm so ready to beast this shit.

that and the others coming up.

most def.

[no pun intended]

wish me luck.


peas.

my opinion on it is this:

FUCK THAT SHIT.

and FUCK THE SYSTEM TOO.
no one gets away with shooting some one mercilessly like that. i mean NO ONE.

wtf is up with the faults in our justice system? matter of fact, what the fuck happened to the justice, period?!

spillin out my .02 cents.
look out for a sign of protest around this campus too. i'm going to get everyone off their asses about this shit around here. this makes absolutely no sense. re-trial or bust.

update: still within my *respected* major.
but i still have intentions on switching.

even though there's an actual possibly i'll be held back.

do i really want to do this?

[yes i do]

peas.

i think i'm *this* close to changing my major.

no, i mean it this time.